Samantha Woodley is Engaged; Dave’s Hopes Dashed

As initially reported on Shadow Lane, and subsequently on Spreview, one of the true sweethearts and beauties in the spanking world, Samantha Woodley, “America’s Spanking Sweetheart” of Firm Hand Spanking fame, is engaged! Congratulations!!

The blessed man is the ever classy Lance del Toro (is that a movie star name or what), who has displayed his seasoned disciplinary hand in red-bottom themed films for spanking powerhouse Shadow Lane — and has starred in films with Ms. Woodley. [see below.]

From all of us here at The Cherry Red Report, we wish you and Lance all the very best and tons of happiness….and happily glowing bottoms.

I was thinking it might help the cause if I too had a cool, movie star inspired name. Thusly, I am thinking about changing my name to a snazzier one. Let’s see here…errm…….ok how about “Olivier de la Spanka,” which has both an international flair and a romantic, kinky ring to it. Wish me luck.

That’s all for now,
Olivier de la Spanka

Pictured Below: The beguiling Samantha Woodley and delightfully stern Lance Del Toro in a simply gorgeous publicity still from Shadow Lane’s “Sting Operation, Part 2.” This is a match made in spanking heaven.

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8 Responses to Samantha Woodley is Engaged; Dave’s Hopes Dashed

  1. ^Mike says:

    (trying out that new French-sounding name, hmmm…) Oh, Livia!

    As i recall, she also dated another Shadow Lane co-star, Ralph Marvell, so it seems to me that, just as in real estate, the three most important words are:

    Access, Access, Access.

    Of course, upon achieving that all imprtant access, it helps to set oneself apart from the riff raff with an impressive title. Something that will stick in her mind, not get caught in her throat, and which she can see attaching her own name to. (“Samantha the Bull?!” Ugh! Wedding’s off.)

    “Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the happy couple,:

    Lord Kane, Baron de Whiptail, and the Lady Samantha de Whiptail

    Gotta nice double entendre ring to it, don’t you think?

  2. How about Dave Delle-Ciliegerosse or Dave Delas-Cerasrojas or get a bit German. Dave Von Rotenkirschen.

    Prefectdt

  3. JD says:

    EXCUSE me, I’m sorry…and I mean absolutely NO disrespect, but…Lance Del Toro? Seriously? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I mean, congrats to Lance and all, but how old is that guy? Perhaps I’m wrong about the humble beginnings of Lance, but when I first saw him it was in some amateur photos where it looked like he was some star-struck middle-aged guy, attending possibly his first ever Shadow Lane party. He had various grainy pictures of himself, spanking some random ladies, admittedly a couple of whom were household names in spankos’ homes…and I thought then, “Good for Lance! He’s proven that an average dude from Hometown USA, can live out a little of his fantasy.” I was really in this guy’s corner; he served as something of an inspiration to those of us who have only fantasized about some of these gorgeous spanko girls, as we viewed them through a PC monitor. And THEN, I saw him start to appear in some premier spanking venues, and realized he must have turned the corner…in my imagination, he had decided to leave his family and friends, throwing off everything that was familiar to him up to that point of his life, choosing instead to live out his life in a spanking world. I could live with that, mostly because I knew I could never turn my back on my own family (children) to spank all the delicious behinds in the world…therefore I wasn’t jealous. And now THIS…NOW he has captured the CROWN JEWEL of the entire Spanking World, he has gone and gotten himself engaged to the incomparable Samantha Woodley!!!! …and I’m thinking, DAMN!! That could have been ME!!! I mean, again – no disrespect to Lance – but what does HE have that I don’t have, unless it’s a billion $$$$ in the bank! Not to be egotistical, but I definitely see MYSELF as a more ‘qualified’ choice to wed Miss Woodley than HIM! But then, I guess I don’t know what Lance REALLY has…apparently ONE thing he has, is the belief that he was good enough for the remarkable Samatha Woodley, a belief that he COULD take her as his wife, something I will admit I would have never thought possible. So I suppose that – once again – Lance has provided inspiration to us all, a reminder that IF we can believe it, we CAN achieve it, and YES…sometimes dreams DO come true, if ONLY we can believe it.

    Congratulations to you Lance…I still don’t know how, but apparently you somehow earned it; Samantha, give me a call if it doesn’t work out!!

    Warmest Regards,
    JD

  4. Karl Friedrich Gauss says:

    Now of course what we all want to know is whether she will promise to “Love, Honor AND Obey”.

  5. 😆 Olivier de la Spanka? ROFL! I love a good laugh. Thanks, Dave.

  6. Oh! And congrats to Samantha and Lance, too. All the best to them in their life together.

  7. Kevin says:

    Damn, good luck man. Can I be invited to the wedding? I sure would want to be there when the vows are exchanged and they say ” I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now spank the bride!!” 😈

  8. Pingback: This Just In: Amber Pixie Wells Ties The Knot | The Cherry Red Report

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