Cherry Red Interview: Amelia Jane Rutherford on How to Kill Zombies & Other Fascinating Topics of Interest

Well, I managed to go cycling last weekend — this time without crashing my bike in a parking lot. Now I call that progress.

Anyway, the ace editorial team here at CRR has been in touch periodically with the ultra awesome and beguiling spanking superstar, and fetish/bondage model extraordinaire, Amelia Jane Rutherford, whose righteous posterior, as you all know, is insured by Sothebys.

Anyway, while we did a “Behind the Scenes” pictorial post with her some time ago, the editorial board here at CRR wanted to do something new with AJR.

Yet something other than the typical Q&A thingey. And Amelia suggested actually if I could query her with some different, and well, downright weird odd questions. Now that we could do. Thusly, read on, fellow spankos! [Fotos above and below kind courtesy of AJR and are from the website Restrained Elegance.]

:arrow:On a side note, perv over to some truly exquisite Amelia Jane vids at CherryRedMovies, that you can watch instantly.

Thank you AJR for taking the time to chat with The Cherry Red Report! It is a pleasure and an honor.

I’m very happy to be talking to you.  I wish my job was being interviewed – it’s like having a brain massage…

What is the best way to kill a zombie?

I think you probably need to chop them up and burn the pieces.  I can’t imagine being great at that though – I don’t even like chopping up raw meat.  I’d need to spray them with poison from a distance, like I do with big spiders.

If you and Jesus had lunch, who pays?

I would definitely pay.  Firstly because I’m not sure if he ever made much money, secondly because if he actually did die for all our sins it’d be polite to be grateful (I’m not sure he actually did, but it’d feel rude to say that before I had a chance to talk to him properly).

Have you ever collected those little stickers that are on fruits?

Nope, I don’t like them.  But for a while I collected cigarette butts (not mine) when I was a child because I felt so sorry for them, lying on pavements and decomposing slowly. My mother made me throw them away when she found them, and I was strangely relieved.

If you could be a snack item, which one would you want to be?

Clearly, this depends on whether I want to be eaten or not.  Assuming I’d accepted it was my destiny to be consumed, I’d like to be a Hostess Cupcake because they’re just so beautiful.  If I was trying not to get eaten I’d be something vile and healthy that no one ever really wants.  Like a carrot stick.  Then I could get on with my life without fear.

Have you ever caught a fish?

Certainly not, too sqeamish.  I’m very grateful that other people do though – I like eating fish…

If you could choose between a million bucks or being able to fly, which one would you choose?

I’d definitely choose being able to fly.  Mainly because it’d be brilliant, and I spent a large part of my childhood trying to work it out; but also because I think I could maybe increase my modeling rates if I could fly.  That’d be a proper unique selling point, and would make my spanking movies rather unexpected.

Do you sing in the shower? if so, what songs?

I used to sing all the most tragic songs from Les Miserables, but my boyfriend laughed at me so much that I had to stop.  Now I sing a wide selection, but always in a key that’s slightly too high for my actual ability.  I don’t know why.

If Tiger Woods sent you a text message, what would you do?

Ignore him.  I’m awful at answering text messages anyway.  Poor chap, I don’t want to add to the complexity of his life.

Do you know how to break-dance?

No, and it makes me quite sad.  I can do robotics though.

Can you do the moonwalk?

Yes!  Yes! Not awfully well, to be perfectly honest, but well enough for my own happiness.  And I developed a mooncrawl on Northern Spanking’s “Strictly Come Spanking” video.  I’m very, very proud of it.

Beatles or Stones?

The Beatles, but with Sympathy For the Devil and Painted Black added to their repertoire.  That might sound a bit odd, but it’d make me awfully pleased.

If you were a Star Trek or Star Wars character, which one would it be?

Ohhh, I would be a new character who wanders into the film early, and magically resolves everything so the story will end up a whole lot shorter.  So girls called Amelia Jane can’t be subjected to either movie in the future…..  My name would be Hildaconechon.

What is the exact last thing you most recently said to someone?

‘Thank you, Sir’.  Remarkably, that’s completely true, and I didn’t even plan it 🙂

If someone wrote your biography, what would the title be?

‘Playing To Lose’.  I’d like to write it myself, but not until I’m really elderly and crabby.

Have you ever made a puppet out of a sock?

Eurgh, I feel like a failure!  I never have.  I often just make a puppet out of my hand, but that’s terribly lazy, isn’t it?

Who would win in a fight? Superman or Batman?

I don’t know, but I’d want Batman to win because I LOVE him.  I found him very, very attractive when I saw the Tim Burton version when I was about 11.  But strangely, not as sexy as the Joker, who was more dangerous, and appeared to have a sex-slave….

When you looked in the mirror this morning, what was the first thing you thought?

I was saddened that my fringe was sticking up in the air, and to the right.  So I did a special facial expression to cheer myself up.  It makes me look like a Muppet.

What is your current ring tone on your cell phone?

I have beautiful, plinky-plonky harp music.  It’s really relaxing, and I hardly ever notice my phone ringing as a result.  My morning alarm is a TV Cop Show theme tune, which makes me feel important when I wake up.

What did the last text message on your cell phone say ?

It’s from my best friend, saying she’s just started driving to the airport, where we’re meeting at 3.30am tomorrow morning to fly to a shoot together.  I love her, we met while we were making a travel documentary five years ago, and we work together whenever we can.

What shampoo do you use?

Oh my goodness, it’s the best in the world!  I just discovered it.  It’s called Mark Hill Sexy Straight, and it smells of raspberries.  And it actually does more or less control my hair, sometimes.

If you’d want to visit another planet, which one would it be?

I thought about this for a long time.  And I want to choose Pluto because it’s being left out a bit because it’s been demoted from being a proper planet.  Tourism might be the way to rebuild its status, and I’d like to help if I can.

Who would you really like to just punch in the nose? [if anyone]

I wish there wasn’t anyone.  But I know of a horrible model who periodically causes problems for various models and photographers in my acquaintance.  She sends abusive emails and posts nasty things on public forums.  Sometimes I fantasize about punching her, but I don’t think I would, because I don’t think I’ve ever hit anyone since I grew up…..

What is your favorite kind of cheese?

Wensleydale with Cranberries.  Mmmmmm. Also Gruyere.

Do you have a secret talent? if so, what is it?

Sadly, I don’t think I do 🙁  I’ll have to work on that.

You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Everyone must have elaborately good manners.  I’d love that.  I would like bowing and curtseying and everything!

What is the song on your ipod [or cd collection] that you are most embarrassed to admit having?

Ha!  Eye of the Tiger.  I love it very much, and it makes me so happy when I play it.   Even though it’s ludicrous, I’m not really embarrassed because I think it’s a great song.  Just very melodramatic.

Thank you very much for your time AJR ! !

Thank you!!  x. Amelia Jane Rutherford


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9 thoughts on “Cherry Red Interview: Amelia Jane Rutherford on How to Kill Zombies & Other Fascinating Topics of Interest”

  1. Well now I have the excuse, putting The Beatles before the Stones, a spanking in anyone’s book …………… Oh how I so wish !!!!! Amelia is definitely my number one most Spankable lady bar none !!


    PS: Great fun interview Btw!!

  2. Thank you Amelia, the more interviews you do the more I I want to read, and the more I want to see you in anything else (mostly spanking videos though). I’m a huge fan, you are sexy, smart, funny, just can’t get enough.


  3. Amelia is such a smart and funny woman… but darn it, now I want to cast her in a zombie movie! 😀 Isn’t she an accomplished stage fighter too? Hmm, zombies and spanking?

  4. Look who still exists! (I mean me, not Amelia Jane Rutherford, obviously.)

    LOVED the interview! I’m jealous. I want to be asked about zombies and Star Trek and cheese. If ever I actually get back to blogging/writing/filming I would like an interview with such questions, please.

    And hurray to Amelia for knowing the right answer – Batman would TOTALLY win in a fight against any superhero, even though he’s not technically a proper superhero what with being dependent on tools and villain-fighting implements. But really, aren’t we all dependent on implements? You can’t fight villains OTK with just a hand.

    Love ya!

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