Hello fellow spankoids. I’d like to today discusss some weighty issues of extreme spanktastic importance.
Blogging is not glamorous. Even blogging on this ‘lil fetish of ours can get wearisome. And tiresome.
So if you are thinking of starting a blog on spanking, please reconsider! and think again! and maybe decide, hey after reading Dave’s top 10 reasons not to start a spank blog as listed below, you may say, “hey, no way am I going to start a spank blog. No way!”
You stare aimlessly at an endlessly blinking cursor, trying to come up with some pervy, spanky topic that has not already been blogged on 157 times. Eyes bloodshot. Eyes blurry from looking at, for blog research purposes, too much gorgeous cherry-red spanked ass.
It’s a tough life, people.
But you are trying to get your blog on. And lemme’ tell ya, it’s not easy, so here is a helpful list to inspire you NOT to get your blog on:
“Top 10 Reasons NOT to Start a Spanking Blog” by Dave.
1. Keeping track of say, 10 or 15 butt percussion blogs is challenging. Keeping track of the remaining 8,414 8,415 tushy tanning websites, with new ones growing like Lindsey Lohan’s rap sheet, is impossible. You will approach the announcement on the blogs of the latest round of 42 new spanking blogs with a potent mixture of both horror and dread.
2. Sometimes you will forget to update your blog, because you forgot that you actually had a blog. Hey, it happens. [This once happened to Amelia Jane Rutherford, if that is any comfort to you.] Then it just gets embarrassing. Then you will post something like: “I know it’s been about 2 to 3 years since my last blog post, however, I’d like to….” In addition, you will also discover some bloggers who are such wonderfully amazing and brilliant writers, that you will glance at your own drunken scribblings and ramblings, and become pale, ashen and visibly ill.
3. Spam is totally wiggy. You will get spam penned by an ingenious auto-bot computer thingey that cheerfully says: “Hullo! I bookmarked your site but many links are broken, so you should check that out! Like right now! I think your right sidebar is screwy, too! Dig your blog though. NICE JOB.”
OK goodness, I will check this out right now, thanks for informing me! you idiotically email back, forthwith, this spammer proceeds to hack your email, shooting out thousands of male enhancement emails to your entire address book. It’s not pretty.
4. Spanko Blogging Burnout. SBB is out there and the symptoms are very bad and quite often quite irreversible, ranging from “Brat-Block” [Inability to Comprehend or Deal with, and/or Fear Of Common Bratting Behaviors] to the less common “Tushytitis” [Complete and Total Lack of Interest in Red Bums, Spanking and Disciplinary Dysfunctionality]. Scary, I know.
5. Your muddled brain will become so overwhelmed, and blinded, by cherry red ass that you begin to see everything through cherry-red colored glasses, and you will stop going to your day-job and obsess over how to change your right sidebar template for 7 hours and check every hour on the hour for the latest artwork by Kami Tora.
6. Maintaining link-lists is just a pain in the tushy. And trading links is a pain in the tushy. Then you will attempt to update your blog link-lists at work, a simply terrible idea, and you will get in trouble, then fired, which is a pain in the tushy, and lose all your money and have to pawn your computer on CraigsList. Hey, it happens. Anyone interested in an iMac?
7. Staying current on the blog and Webernet technology is no easy task. From plug-ins to tweeting to that whole FaceBook thingey, it’s a pain. In my darkest hours, I wish we could go back to typewriters. Updating your blog to the latest version WordPress without accidentally vaporizing your blog into little pixels of infinity and nothingness is Epic Fail. Is it worth it? I dunno! Which is why my current version of WordPress was designed in 1987, before the Interwebs was invented.
8. You will eventually get everyone’s name in the spanko scene horrendously confuzzled and all fouled up i.e. getting Victoria confused with Veronica, and Nicole confused with Nikki Rouge, and Sierra confused with Sienna, and Mina Meow all mixed up with Ms. Meow. There’s Isabella and there’s Isis. Hmm, wait, then which one is Lila from Real Spanking or is it Real Life Spanking or is it Real Red Bums or is it, now wait a minute, hmm….ok now, what? See. [Drinking does not help in this matter.]
9. You will run out of ideas for the blog, and post inane Top 10 Lists.
10. You will have endless dreams of Rosaleen Young making her triumphant return. Then you wake up. To stare at a blinking cursor.