We are pleased to present guest blogger Karl Friedrich Gauss, who came up with the idea to interview the intriguing Tiffany Scarlet for The Cherry Red Report, someone with whom I was completely unfamiliar with until Karl wrote up this article and interview.
Karl informed me that Tiffany Scarlett is a young woman in her second year of college in the U.S., who I am told has a live-in disciplinary and mentoring relationship with a professor who teaches at her college.
Karl has been a frequent commenter on various spanko sites across the Interwebs and you’ve probably seen his threads on the reader’s forum on the Chross Blog. Thank you to Karl and Tiffany for providing this very informative and highly detailed Q&A.
An interview with Tiffany Scarlett by Karl Friedrich Gauss
I’ve been fascinated by Tiffany’s story since she started blogging about it. I love that she’s so articulate about her feelings and her life, that she so wants to explore and understand what this desire for discipline and to be spanked is all about.
By any normal standard, Tiffany would be considered a paragon of virtue, and yet, until recently, she’s harbored a deep unfulfilled longing to be called to account and spanked like a naughty little girl. Was it just that she missed out on having that kind of childhood, or is there something deeper going on?
I was intrigued. So I’ve been exchanging emails with her for a few months now to try to tease out the dynamics of her relationship. This interview has developed out of that conversation — Karl Friedrich Gauss
Karl: It would seem appropriate to begin at the beginning and ask about your growing up years and what was your home and social life like. I know you’ve said you were not spanked and I gather your parents were rather on the permissive end of the parenting spectrum.
But did they have clear expectations and boundaries for you, or did they have you making a lot of choices for yourself early on, and treating you like a little adult instead of as a child. I hope you realize I’m not trying to be critical of anything, just to get a picture of what it was like for you growing up. Do tell us what it was like.
Tiffany: My parents were extremely permissive and I had to make a lot of choices for myself. They treated me like an adult, and I tried unnaturally to rise to the occasion from as far back as I can remember. I think this forced me to grow up too fast and become way too serious.
All my other friends looked up to me as the most mature one in our group and I always tried my hardest not to disappoint everyone. I don’t know if other people expected me to be perfect, but I was afraid I would be unlikable if I was not. I understand that perfection is an impossible standard to attain, but my parents didn’t give me much guidance as to what was appropriate and what was inappropriate. So, I had to do a lot of self-policing.
When I met Sir, I found myself slowly letting go. I think he helped me tap into the inner child that I had imprisoned for so long. In doing so, he’s helping me reclaim a naughty and playful part of myself. For the first time in my life, I am realizing that perfection is overrated. I would much rather make mistakes and have fun than replay my every word and action and wonder if I did anything wrong.
Karl: How far back does your interest in spanking go? Do you remember any incident that sparked it? And how did it develop during your childhood and youth?
Tiffany: My interest in spanking goes back as far as I can remember. As I’ve written in my blog, I always would look up the word “spanking” in the library and my ears always perked up whenever I heard anyone, especially my friends, talk about it.
I think I may have met a few boys interested in spanking when I was growing up. They were in my co-ed sports team and we played wrestling and spanking games a few times—with me being spanked exclusively. At the time, it was terribly exciting, but ultimately, I wanted more. When I was younger, there was the annual birthday ritual, which I found both mortifying and unsatisfying.
Karl: I think you said somewhere that you celebrated your 18th birthday by finding a man to spank you. Details please.
Tiffany: This too I covered in my blog. When I turned eighteen, I answered Sir’s ad and the rest is, as they say, history.
Karl: Tell us how you got into this present relationship with the prof who spanks you (Sir) and at whose house you live.
Tiffany: We had instant chemistry. He is really kind and caring and I totally trust him. That’s really the key, the trust we have for each other. I know he always has my best interests at heart, even though I may not realize it in the moment.
A good analogy he made once is that of the blood stream in relation to the body. If you just look at the bloodstream under a microscope, there is all kinds of struggles going on; one microorganism devouring another, it looks like a tumultuous war.
But from the body’s perspective, there is an order going on that is serving the whole and all for the best. That sometimes describes our two perspectives. He has the broader view of the body, and I am usually caught up in the drama of the bloodstream. Another analogy he uses is that of a deep river with turbulent surface waves. I’m bouncing around on the surface while he is tuned into the depths.
No matter how intense the wild ride may be for me, I trust that Sir is firmly ensconced in the overarching view. This has proven to be true time and again. As much as I may resist and fervently complain, I later come to realize how grateful I am for all of his concentrated, albeit mega-embarrassing and painful attention.
Karl: Were there issues that came up in that relationship that you needed to work out between the two of you, or was it smooth sailing from the get go? If there were issues how did you resolve them?
Tiffany: We communicate at length about everything so issues don’t really have a chance to accumulate. I can tell him anything. I think one of the reasons we are so compatible is that we are both such good listeners. I know that if there are some rules (like my early bedtime) that I want a break from, Sir is always very understanding.
For instance, if I’m out at a movie with my friends and afterwards they want to go eat or something. If I call and ask him if it’s OK, there’s never a problem. But if I just do it and don’t call, then I’m in big trouble. Admittedly, sometimes I like the feeling of being naughty, at least until I’m caught. One of my girlfriends may be pushing me to stay out later and I’ll know that when I get home, Sir will be waiting for me with the paddle.
This adds a level of excitement when I intentionally flaunt his wishes in order to be spanked. No one I’m with will know why I look more and more nervous as the time passes but me. By the time I do get home, sure enough, he’s waiting for me and I’ll be ready to explode from the suspense. His rules are simply guidelines that we can amend together when needed or I can feel free to break, as long as I’m prepared to accept the consequences.
Karl: Has he ever introduced you to any of his former proteges — girls who have been in the same arrangement as you are now — or has he told you about them at all? It would be interesting to know the history of his doing this kind of thing, but I could certainly understand if he didn’t want to share that.
Tiffany: I’ve met a couple of girls in their 20’s that he has known but he’s told me (and I don’t mean to sound like I’m tooting my own horn) that I’m by far his all time favorite (blushing).
Karl: For many young people at college, hanging out with their peers is a major part of the experience. But you seem to be just about totally wrapped up in your schoolwork and with spankings and tutorings with Sir. Do you feel any social deficits in your life on this account? I’m guessing exploring your spanking interests takes precedence for you now, but do tell. What are your relations and interacts like with other college kids of your own age? And do you run into other girls on campus who you think are also spanked?
Tiffany: As you know, I spend most of my time with graduate students, so no, I don’t really hang out with my peers much. I don’t feel super-energized hanging out with them. I do it just to be sure I’m not missing out on anything and every time, I discover that I am not. I’ve always been somewhat of a loner anyway, so I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.
On the contrary, my life is more fulfilled and enriched now than ever! I do like my T.A. though. I’ve always hung out with people older than me. More interesting conversations, funnier jokes and I guess I just prefer older men to be around but certainly younger guys to date. I have a couple of close girl friends but they’re both pretty straight (and vanilla).
Karl: It’s been sweet of Sir to try to set you up with potential romantic partners. Has anything further developed with that TA he had babysit you? Have there been other attempts of this sort, to find you someone you could love and who would love you?
Tiffany: Mr. T.A, and I have definitely gotten closer but we’re still in the flirting stages. I think we’re both trying to make sense of what dating would be like under my arrangement, so we’re moving slow. Sir is totally supportive and is a bit of a matchmaker.
He’s tried introducing me to a couple of other guys, who I’ve liked, but nothing’s happened yet. I’m pretty consumed with school and exploring my kink at home. Sir and I have become very close and I feel like our relationship just keeps getting deeper and better all the time.
Karl: From what I’ve read on your blog, although some of your spankings have been for play and some for maintenance of sorts, the main theme seems to be “correction” or “discipline” or “punishment.” Is that right? Could you elaborate on the “reasons” you get spanked by Sir and how you feel about getting spanked for those reasons?
Tiffany: I’ve always wanted to be held accountable for my actions through spanking. There is definitely a corrective nature to many of my spankings. But there is also simply my desire to be spanked as is expressed by my regular bedtime spankings.
Sir and I don’t even say much each night when these happen. He knows that I want/need them, and he’s happy to oblige. I use to sometimes have a hard time sleeping through the night but not anymore! I’ve gone from being a super light sleeper to a sore and sound sleeper. I feel really cared for.
Karl: You’ve written that such spankings are therapeutic for you in helping you let go of accumulated guilt feelings? Could you expand on this? Where do all these guilt feelings come from, anyway? And how do you feel that the spankings help you to let go of them?
Tiffany: Being a perfectionist always leaves me feeling like I haven’t done enough or that I haven’t done things totally right. The catharsis I experience from a hard spanking helps me release this tension. I guess I’m naturally a little high strung, and as the day goes on, I increasingly get the feeling that I should be doing more, or better.
Sir’s spankings set me straight, like pushing my reset button. That’s why being spanked so frequently really works for me. I get too pent up with repressed emotions if I don’t get that release regularly. I totally notice a huge difference when I’m away visiting my folks. After a couple of unspanked days, I start to get bitchy, irritating and annoying.
Even though it was super embarrassing, I’m secretly glad Sir paid me an unannounced visit during my last vacation. I felt hyper self-conscious having him stay in the little town I grew up in, where I know everybody. But he was as discrete as ever and the added dynamic of me wandering around all my familiar locations sporting a freshly spanked bottom made my secret even juicier. Context is key. And so is unpredictability.
When Sir spontaneously summons me over to undress and spank me, especially in front of his friends, the context coupled with my shyness can make for a truly mortifying yet simultaneously delicious and unforgettable experience. Sir is great at constantly challenging me in unexpected ways.
Karl: Some bloggers like Graham (the S-Word) and Pandora, have expressed a clear preference for spanking scenes that are “mutually justified,” in which the spanker can feel they are delivering a justified punishment, and the spankee can feel that they are being spanked unjustifiably.
You don’t seem to be into that so much. Do such scenarios have any appeal for you? Or are you just happy to be spanked for good disciplinary reasons of one sort or another, and take it like the naughty young lady you’ve apparently been?
Tiffany: I get good disciplinary spankings, for my misdeeds, inaction, lack of motivation, rudeness, being inconsiderate, irresponsible or unreliable, as preemption or maintenance or punishment or even when I rarely ask for them. They’ve become so integral in my life now they feel like some sort of beneficial dietary nutrient that I had been missing.
Karl: Do you feel Sir’s spankings are always fair, or do you expect them to always be fair?
Tiffany: I never know quite what to expect when I get spanked. The only thing for sure is that after all is said and done, Sir will always comfort and console me. I think he is fair. Sometimes he seems to be ready to spank me longer or harder, I just never know exactly when that will be.
Sometimes I can guess, though, like when I know I’ve really screwed up. Or when he knows I’m being too hard on myself. Whenever he thinks I’m engaging in self defeating assumptions or any self destructive behavior, that’s when he’s the most severe. I may not think it’s fair in the moment, but I think he’s right most of the time.
Karl: There’s been a variety of opinion expressed among submissive women as to what they like about being spanked. Some like the excitement of anticipating a spanking. Some say they like the feelings they have afterwards. Some say they enjoy the actual sensation of the spanking itself. What do you like about being spanked and being in a spanking relationship such as you have with Sir?
Tiffany: I agree that there is an excitement in anticipation and, of course, the calm and peacefulness afterwards. The spanking itself hurts a lot! During a spanking, I would do anything to escape the stinging slaps. But I love the feeling of being so looked after.
Knowing that someone really cares that much for me that he is willing to help me realize my goals and protect me even from myself. It’s a very intimate and loving relationship. I love the closeness I feel with Sir. He knows about my deepest secret so I don’t have to hide anything from him. There’s a certain freedom in that. He accepts me in my totality. No one, not even my parents, know me as intimately as he does.
Karl: You’ve said you’re happy to separate your romantic life and your spanking “needs.” Do you think that would work for you long term in an enduring relationship? Wouldn’t you want to have a romantic partner who would also spank you? Don’t you think that’s feasible? Or is there some other reason you wouldn’t want it? Like for instance you might want the freedom of being able to grow out of your interest in spanking without having your primary romantic relationship built around it. What do you think?
Tiffany: That’s a good question and I guess the answer will reveal itself to me as I grow older. For now, it feels good to compartmentalize my interests. I like dating “vanilla” guys and keeping my spanking interest a secret from them. Although I can imagine the perfect partner, I don’t know that he exists. I think spanking will always be a part of who I am in some way.
Karl: I understand Sir often spanks you in front of your other profs. How do you feel about this while it’s happening? And how do you feel when you see these profs around campus? Do they ever allude to your spankings in casual conversation? Are you surprised that such a large proportion of them are kinky enough to want to watch you get spanked? How large a proportion would you say that is, btw? — of your profs who watch you get spanked and know about your relationship with Sir? Does Sir ever offer to let any of these other profs spank you?
Tiffany: There are just a few professors that know and no, Sir never let’s them spank me. He’ll tease me about it sometimes but that ‘s just to embarrass me in front of them. And it is super embarrassing any time it happens. I can’t even begin to describe it. I’ve tried in my blog. Thankfully, they’re all very discrete. Sometimes they will allude to it when i see them, but always cryptically.
Still it’s enough to send me into uncontrollable fits of bashful blushing. In fact, I don’t even like to think about it. I do feel strangely closer to them when I see them, Just a wink can make me feel weak in the knees. They all seem so casual about it, like it’s no big deal. Sir too. When one or more of them are visiting Sir will call me over to him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He’ll say, “Tiffany you have nothing to hide from us.” Yeah right!
Karl: You wrote about meeting the girl who gets spanked by the antique dealer friend of Sir’s. That was a fascinating episode. Have you run into that girl again? Have you met with any other of Sir’s friends and their spanking partners?
Tiffany: I’m always interested in meeting others who have been in or know “the scene.” It doesn’t happen that often. I’ve met more men than women. I’m hesitant to say more out of respect for their privacy.
Karl: I understand you’re on the verge of launching a subscription site. What will your site offer that’s special and unique?
Tiffany: Artistic well-produced short films with voice over, interviews, music, and of course my spankings. You will get to know a lot more about me. I really open up on camera. I also read from my blog, kind of a storybook corner. I’ve really enjoyed the filming and editing and post-production process. I’ve probably spent way too much time and money on these productions, but it’s been a labor of love.
Right now I’m the only model but I want to invite others to participate once we’re launched. I love providing intimate details of the context and my thinking, something I haven’t seen others do much of yet. One cool feature is that we have shot in so many beautiful locations. I’m trying to create a new genre, really. One that delves into some philosophical questions and perspectives while still preserving the essence of spanking erotica. I love integrating mixed media into my productions too, different formats, stills, etc.
If I were a person trying to come to terms with my interest in spankings, I would love to come across a site like mine. My material isn’t focused solely on the physical aspects of spanking, but the emotional and psychological ones as well. In addition, I talk very frankly about my experience discovering and exploring my spanking interests and coming to terms with the fact that this is an aspect of my personality that I cannot change.
Karl: To what degree will the content of that site be fictional, and to what degree documentary (showing events and portraying stories that would have happened anyway, whether you were filming or not)?
Tiffany: Another good question. My spankings happen whether we film them or not. There is a difference once the cameras are rolling. The trick is to try and forget they’re on which isn’t so easy. I think I’ve managed to do that pretty well. Sir says that his favorite spankings are the ones we didn’t film, although we both really like “watching our dailies.”
I think that the more we’ve filmed them, the easier it’s gotten. We tried having another camera person a couple of times but Sir thought I was too self conscious so he just sets up the cameras himself and lets them run and then we edit later. I’ve really tried to craft films that people will enjoy seeing multiple times; ones with good sound, lighting and music. I’ve really enjoyed playing with different musical selections to give the films different feels.
Karl: How do you think that the ongoing need to create material for your site will affect the spanking relationship you have with Sir?
Tiffany: So many good questions Karl! I think we’re both ready to accommodate whatever the market demand may be. If this really takes off, I want to hire other models and be more involved in writing and producing. I want to continue developing the style we’ve started; interviews, good stories, documentary and cinematic filming techniques, experimental lighting, crane shots, etc. I love shooting in natural light too, It’s so rich and flattering for the subjects.
I’d like to enter some of my short films into erotic film festivals. I have some ideas for some interesting screen plays and more music videos. I see spanking as the crossover kink into the mainstream and I’d love to be at the forefront of helping to make that happen. I love experimenting with morphing and matting to create new images that are both erotic and artistic.
Sir is my champion and totally supports my creativity in every way he can. I’m so grateful I discovered my passion for this lifestyle with him when I did. Our films are a window into our special kind of intimacy and a celebration of who we are. Even though it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, I’m hoping that there will be enough subscriptions and support to allow me expand and realize more of my vision.
Karl: What websites or blogs about spanking were especially interesting or influential for you? Or have you researched spanking much on the internet?
Tiffany: The first spanking blogs I found on the internet were the Chross blog and Stan’s blog. I really enjoyed looking through Chross’ movie database. When I first started researching spanking, I found spankings featured in mainstream movies less intimidating. The spankings also seemed more realistic because they were given in the context of a story.
I enjoyed Stan’s blog because of his aesthetic sense. He always seems to pick the best photos. I came across his blog almost accidentally. I took French classes for a few years in high school and out of curiosity, I googled the French word for spank, which I believe is “fessee” and his blog was one of the first things I found. Although I was never fluent in French, his photos stoked my imagination.
I appreciate Voice in the Corner’s writing prowess. The frequency that he produces well-written, interesting content never ceases to amaze me. I also love his choice of photos.
Other blogs I enjoy are The Pink Report and Marqe’s blog. I love Pink’s sense of humor and writing style. Marqe’s choice of photos and captions are wonderful. I especially enjoy the black and white photos and the photos with a more vintage feel.
To be completely honest though, I have not researched spanking that much. When I come across content I like, I prefer to study it in detail. I suppose I’m more interested in quality than in quantity.
Karl: Now to follow up the discussion with Tiffany, I had a few email exchanges with her Sir which he’s agreed that I could include. I’m doing this because another of my online friends has a difficult time believing that Tiffany’s story is for real. So here’s how I worded that question:
“Tiffany, I have another question which I feel is important. It arises out of an email conversation I had with another blogger, a blogger who couldn’t believe what you wrote was for real. Her specific difficulty was getting her mind around why Sir would be offering anyone what he seems to be offering you.
As in a place to live, help with school, and a lot of personal spanking attention. She wonders what HE gets out of it all, and why he would do it. Especially seeing how as how you’re not lovers. I guess she wonders why he wouldn’t be saving this sort of attention for someone who could also be his girlfriend.
As I guy I don’t have that question or that difficulty understanding why he’d do it. It doesn’t seem so much of a stretch. I bet spanking you every day for every little thing must be a trip in itself, especially knowing what I do about who you are and how you take it. But I bet there are lots of readers out there who might wonder the same thing as this person did. So I think it would be good to address that question in the interview. Could you ask Sir for me, and send me his answer.” Now the conversation shifts to Sir:
Sir: As Tiffany has written in her blog, although we are very close, we are not lovers. Our spanking play is just that, play. Even though it can be intense for her, I am always very sensitive and caring for her in every way. I encourage her to date guys her own age, but she just hasn’t been that interested so far. She is a workaholic.
Our intimacy is very fulfilling for both of us. However, it stays within certain important parameters. As to “why I do it” I’ve never had any kids and Tiffany’s never really had any discipline. I have other lady companions but it’s with Tiffany that I enjoy expressing not only my penchant for spanking, but my more paternal urges that have thus far been seldom expressed. Our connection is indeed fortuitous.
Karl: I guess a followup question which you may or may not want to answer is whether you’ve had similar relationships with other young women in the past? I’d guess that you have, and that’s partly why you’re so good at dealing with Tiffany. Tiffany said you were advertising her “position” in some periodical. So presumably you might have done so before, and had a disciplinary live in relationship with a young woman or two, who likely has since moved on from her college experiences.
I’ve heard of other older men, not necessarily profs, who’ve had mentoring/disciplinary relationships with college-age girls. As in your case these have not been boyfriend/girlfriend types of relationships, but focussed around the intimacy of discipline and accountability. So this question I asked earlier was not so much for myself as for those doubters out there who think Tiffany is making the whole thing up.
It sounds like you and Tiffany are wonderful for each other. I like Tiffany because she’s so smart and inquisitive and self-aware. And from what she says it seems you give her just what she needs. For me I find the mystery of what makes this complicated psychological game of spanking so much fun, to be something worth probing and exploring. So I’m interested to follow her story and yours and to see how it all unfolds.
Sir: What you’ve pieced together (Sir’s first answer, above) is just fine, thanks for taking the time and being so thoughtful. Being rather “well to do” and having no heirs has allowed me to be generous when I’m inspired to do so. I’ve been delighted to help support Tiffany, especially her keen interest in film.
The quality of her work attests to her growing skill set as a director, editor and, of course, the star. She has a vision of making spanking films (or films with spanking scenes) more available and appealing to mainstream audiences. I wish I had the kind of money that would allow her to realize her feature length dreams. Perhaps one day she’ll be directing an erotic thriller we can all go and see in the theaters.
In regards to your other question, I have had the great honor of receiving the gift of submission from a few other lovely women over the years. Some I’m still in touch with and others now have families and moved on. One thing they’ve all shared in common was a courageous sense of adventure.
They were all willing to be experimental and push the boundaries of their experience. They all had (or have) a passionate learning spirit. When their peers were more interested in experimenting with drugs or alcohol, they wanted to, as Gurdjieff put it, “peer into their suspicious interiors.” They accomplished this by allowing themselves to explore and express their desires in very uninhibited and self aware ways.
For many, this included relinquishing all control and surrendering sweetly to someone they totally trusted. I’ve always had the utmost respect and compassion for those brave souls and spiritual sojourners, and that is how I perceived these lovely women. I have offered them whatever assistance and guidance I could and wished them well and sent them on their way, further along their path to self knowledge.
In my lifetime of experience, Tiffany is unique. She’s ahead of her time. For her, being spanked and then cuddled is like recharging her batteries or cleaning the slate. She is so hard on herself that it’s therapeutic for her to find a healthy release. That spanking is that release is a marvel indeed. And that she has been so clear about that from such a young age is astounding. Her voracious appetite for books and learning and her cocky wit all contribute to create the perfect storm of the darling bon vivant that is Tiffany.
I’m glad you appreciate her too. She is a rare songbird and I treasure our relationship.
Karl: That’s beautiful. I’d love to append it to the interview as your answer to my further question as to whether you’ve done this before. Would that be ok with you? I think the fact that you have done this sort of thing with other girls, and that you write about it like this, should put to rest any doubts people may have about whether Tiffany is “for real”. The spiritual dimension of all this is certainly a fascinating angle, one which I think about as well.
Sir: Of course you are welcome to include any excerpts of mine you find suitable for Tiffany’s interview and anything else from this email that may strike you as well. I’m happy to chime in on a subject that we are both obviously interested in whenever I can.
Karl: Thanks to Sir and to Tiffany for so openly sharing this intimate information about their relationship.